Why are you adopting?
Are you scared of another miscarriage?
Are you adopting because you’re afraid of having another miscarriage?
Again these are fair questions, but much easier to answer than the question about replacement (addressed on October 21st). These answers overlap some of what I wrote on October 18th, but take a slightly different angle.
First, “Are you scared of another miscarriage?” Sure. I was scared of miscarriage before I had one. It was much harder than I imagined; yet I’ve had greater peace than I ever dreamed possible. I’m thankful for what God has taught me during the past year. He has shaped and molded me more during this difficult time than in many previous years combined. I believe I’ve become more sensitive to the needs of others and I understand grief better. I’ve seen God take tragedy and make something beautiful. I’ve known the peace that comes from being carried through a storm by a loving God. I know our God better now than I did a year ago.
I don’t think I could ever choose to have a miscarriage, but I wouldn’t trade what I’ve learned through it. The doctor has assured us that we should be able to prevent a similar miscarriage in the future. Of course he can’t be certain, but one thing we are certain of is that IF God allows us to lose another child, He will be with us and will again carry us through!!!
“Are you adopting because you’re afraid of having another miscarriage?” NO! Absolutely not!!!
“Why are you adopting?” There are many wonderful reasons to adopt, but the bottom line is we are adopting because we believe God has definitely led us to. He led us to adoption in several ways and confirmed His leading thorough various means. We don’t know exactly what His plan involves or why He is guiding us this way, but we are following His plan the best we can.
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Not what I planned
Around the time of our ultrasound, I began to realize I was dealing with some mild depression and decided to fight it. I began trying to eat things that would help me and to exercise. I did some fun things with friends - including 4-wheeling for the first time in years! It was fun!!!
A little over a week after the ultrasound, I began to feel what I assumed were Braxton Hicks contractions. I read a little and it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. When after hours the mild pains didn't quit and became very regular, I called the Doctor. He said they were probably just muscle spasms. He recommended I take a bath and lie down, but soon my water broke.
To make a long story short, my mom came to take care of our girls and we rushed to the hospital. At 1:16 AM, the doctor delivered a perfect little boy. He was 8 inches long and weighed 6 ounces. Since I was only 17 ½ weeks along, he died immediately. We named him Kenaniah -- taken from I Chronicles 15:22 after the song leader. He is now singing in heaven.
The days that followed were filled with grief, confusion, questions, self-blame, etc... We went back to get him a few days later and buried him. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. But, I have learned so much and grown a lot during these days. I've experienced God's love in ways I never had before. I've drawn closer to Him and have become a more compassionate person. I never would have planned things to go this way, but I wouldn't trade what I've learned!!
It's still not easy, but it's not as hard as it was.. We have done several things in his memory. We will never forget our firstborn son, but I know that God is bringing beauty from our ashes.
If we hadn't lost our son, I don't know if I would have ever pursued adoption. I kind of thought it was for people who couldn't have children or who had plenty of money. How wrong I was, but I'll save that for another post.
A little over a week after the ultrasound, I began to feel what I assumed were Braxton Hicks contractions. I read a little and it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. When after hours the mild pains didn't quit and became very regular, I called the Doctor. He said they were probably just muscle spasms. He recommended I take a bath and lie down, but soon my water broke.
To make a long story short, my mom came to take care of our girls and we rushed to the hospital. At 1:16 AM, the doctor delivered a perfect little boy. He was 8 inches long and weighed 6 ounces. Since I was only 17 ½ weeks along, he died immediately. We named him Kenaniah -- taken from I Chronicles 15:22 after the song leader. He is now singing in heaven.
The days that followed were filled with grief, confusion, questions, self-blame, etc... We went back to get him a few days later and buried him. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. But, I have learned so much and grown a lot during these days. I've experienced God's love in ways I never had before. I've drawn closer to Him and have become a more compassionate person. I never would have planned things to go this way, but I wouldn't trade what I've learned!!
It's still not easy, but it's not as hard as it was.. We have done several things in his memory. We will never forget our firstborn son, but I know that God is bringing beauty from our ashes.
If we hadn't lost our son, I don't know if I would have ever pursued adoption. I kind of thought it was for people who couldn't have children or who had plenty of money. How wrong I was, but I'll save that for another post.
Beautiful coffin made by David Munson Sr., David Munson Jr., Carrie Munson, & Miss Carlisle
Perfect little feet
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