Both Hands Project - 11/6/10

We serve an awesome God!!!


We arrived at Odessa’s home Saturday morning, planning to work on building a pump house for her water pipes so they wouldn’t freeze throughout the winter. When we got there, they didn’t have any water. The night before, the pipes burst. WOW! God’s timing is amazing.

After eating our breakfast provided by Hardees, we got to work. Most of the men started fixing the pipes and building the pump house. The rest of us blew (with leaf blowers) & raked leaves to help clean the last few leaves of fall off the yard and flower beds. (The family had already gotten rid of the majority of the leaves.) This family does everything they can to take care of their property, but because of physical limitations there are some things they cannot do.  Jeff even had the doors to put on the front of the pump house built, painted, and ready to go!

The weather was warmer than expected and we only saw a few flakes of snow throughout the day. We praise the Lord for controlling the weather for us!!! I (Marie) was able to spend some time talking with Odessa and getting to know her better. She’s a wonderful lady and was so thankful for the help our team gave her.

We left the project saying that even if this didn’t raise any money for our adoption, it was worth it. We were so blessed!!! God uses us in many ways and He works out details! We thank God for the privilege of serving this family!

Our team: Pastor John Bunn, Mike Bush, Jeffrey Keith Watts, Tony Watts, Lenora Bush, Marie Angus, Keith Watts (front), Odessa Watts (our widow), Dean Watts.

Not pictured: Brad Angus took the picture, Mark Underwood contacted businesses to sponsor us, and Jeannie & Robert Baker kept our girls while we worked.

Many other people prayed for us and gave toward our adoption.  THANK YOU to everyone who had a part!!!!!

Before - The old pipes

Broken Pipe

Mike & Tony work on a wall for the pump house

Helping a Widow & an Orphan - Nov 6, 2010

Our fundraiser is scheduled for this Saturday.  We would appreciate your prayers!!!
Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are unable to help Pauline as originally planned, but God is in control and has provided us with another woman we can serve.

Meet Odessa (our widow)
Odessa and Keith were saved and baptized on the same day. They married and began serving God. Keith served as pastor to a couple different churches—serving 23 years at the church he was pastoring when he died.  He also worked as a coal miner for 18 years and lovingly provided for his family. When Keith died, Odessa lost her best friend and life-long partner.  Jeff, their youngest son, does everything he can to care for his mother, but he is confined to a wheelchair because of an accident when he was younger. He does beautiful work with his hands and often makes things for our church when we need them.

Our team is going to spend Saturday morning helping nail up gutters, sealing the edges of the roof, weed-eating, etc.  We are also raising sponsors.  All the money raised will go to the adoption of our son.  So, this fundraiser helps both a widow and an orphan!

Please pray 

• that God will bless Odessa and Jeffrey Keith through our team on Saturday. 
• for weather that will allow us to accomplish the projects they need done.
• that God will continue to provide for our adoption - in HIS time, in His way.
• that God will be glorified through this fundraiser and our adoption.

Approximately $1000 has come in for this fundraiser so far.  We still need $14,000.  With the adoption tax credit, we should get $10,000 back, but we have to have the money up front before we can be matched and bring our son home.  A 3-month no-interest loan seems ideal, but so far, God has not chosen to provide in that way.  Please pray that we will trust His plan and allow Him to provide in His way.


If anyone is interested in supporting a fundraiser like this, donations can be made to any of the projects at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html. Just scroll through the page until you see the picture of the family/project to whom you want your donation to be designated.



If you want to give toward our adoption, you can go to the project link above or if you prefer mail,
please make your tax-deductible checks to Lifesong for Orphans. Please preference how the donation may be used by writing “Angus #1442 adoption” in the memo section of your check.
You can give the check to us or send it to:

Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40 / 202 N Ford St
Gridley, IL 61744


Some businesses are giving too. If you know of any businesses that might be interested please pass on the word. They'll get a tax-deductible receipt and, we will list their name on the back of the team's t-shirts if they give $50 or more. We need to know the name they want listed by Saturday Nov 6th to get it put on the t-shirts. (We won't have the shirts by the project date - because I didn't get things organized soon enough, but I think people will wear the shirts afterwards. The front of the shirts will have James 1:27 on them.)
For more information about Both Hands & Lifesong for Orphans, you can check out http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bothHands.html


If anyone wants a t-shirt, you can get one for $10.  Please let me know what size you want.

Thank you especially for your prayers!!  We serve an awesome God!  We know He will provide in His time and in His way.  To God ALONE be the glory!!!!!!

A Little Goes A Long Way

An infant needing a family. A widow living in Eastern Kentucky who just needs a little help. A group of people desperate for pure religion. What could these three things possibly have in common?


All three are coming together to play key roles in an exciting fundraising opportunity taking place on November 6, 2010. This fundraiser will help us adopt our infant son while we spend a day fixing up a widow’s house. We are asking our family and friends to sponsor us while we work on her home. All the money that is donated will be used to bring our child home to his forever family. Think of it like a charity walk, but instead of us walking to raise money, we are going to support a widow in need. I want to give you an opportunity to participate in this awesome project, if you want to. If not, no big deal, but honestly I hope you find this as irresistible as we do. Both Hands, through its partnership with Lifesong for Orphans, is an organization that is dedicated to comforting widows and helping orphans. Lifesong makes it possible for your contribution to be tax deductible.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27 (NIV)

Meet Pauline (widow) …

Pauline is a dear lady from our church family who lost her husband almost 2 years ago. Pauline is our neighbor and while her husband Fred was living he often came down and helped us with things around our place. He helped in our garden and even taught our girls how to shuck corn. He was very special to our family and although we miss him, our loss was nothing compared to Pauline’s. She lost her best friend and life-long partner. Since Fred’s death, Pauline has remained active, but is not able to do everything around her place that she would like to. The very day we found out about Both Hands fundraisers, it became clear that Pauline was the widow we wanted to help! Although it was a little difficult for her to accept our offer to help her because she prefers to serve others than to be served, she humbly accepted our offer.

How Can You Help?

We are not all called to adopt, but we can play a part in this wonderful process.

Prayer — Please pray for God’s continued blessing on this adoption process, for God’s timing, that God will bring us the child who will most benefit from joining our family, for the birthparents as they make the difficult decision to allow their child to be adopted and that God would draw them close to Himself through this adoption. Please pray for our family during the waiting time and through the adjustments of adding a child to our family. Please pray for continued blessings on Pauline and for the ministries of the Both Hands Foundation and Lifesong for Orphans.

Team — Please consider joining our team in working Saturday morning (Nov 6th) and/or asking others (friends, businesses, whoever) to financially join our team. You could choose to help another widow and still raise sponsors! We pray this project will raise awareness of the needs of those around us. Even if you can’t work at a widow’s home, you could invite others to join our team.

Financial — Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help cover the remaining $15,000 in adoption expenses as we work with the team to bless the life of this widow, Pauline.

“My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.” ~ Derek Loux



Every Dollar Helps

Please make your tax-deductible checks to Lifesong for Orphans before November 19th. You may preference how the donation may be used by writing “Angus #1442 adoption” in the memo section of your check.

Mail to:
Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40 / 202 N Ford St
Gridley, IL 61744

Donations can also be made online at

http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html

Just scroll down the page until you see our picture and click on donate.

*100% of all funds raised will go directly to cover adoption costs—nothing will be taken out for Lifesong for Orphans’ administrative costs.

*Please note that in following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the non-profit organization Lifesong for Orphans. They retain full discretion over its use, but intend to honor the donors suggested use.

Not Approved for No-Interest Loan

Yesterday we were notified by ABBA Fund that we were not approved for the no-interest loan.  There are just too many people needing financial assistance and they can't help everyone.  Their e-mail was very encouraging and I understand that they can't loan money to everyone who asks.  I have to admit, though, I was surprised that we were not approved. 

A loan makes so much sense to me because we should get a tax credit and we have a grant that won't be sent until the child is in our home.  Both of these are cases where we need the money up front and then will be reimbursed - sounds to me like a loan would work.  I honestly thought that was how God was going to provide the last of the money we need before we can be matched.  I really thought I'd soon be able to tell the agency, "We're ready to be matched!"  I thought this organization was ideal because we wouldn't have to pay any interest.  God MAY still provide a loan, but this is a definite reminder that God does NOT work like I work and He does NOT think like I think.  Isaiah 55:9 states it clearly - "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Funny (actually it's sad) that I as a human try to figure out how God will work and even base much of my confidence and my plans on the way I think it's best for Him to work. 

As I was going to sleep last night I decided to listen to a sermon titled "How to Live for God's Glory."  The main point was "We glorify God by trusting Him."  What a timely message for me.  The preacher used Abraham and Sarah (and the birth of Isaac) as an example of this point. 
"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.'  Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead.  Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."  Romans 4:18-21 (NIV)

I don't know how many times God has used the story of Abraham and Sarah to encourage and challenge me through this adoption journey.  We have not waited any time compared to them and yet Abraham believed.  The situation seemed impossible and yet Abraham believed.  God has also used their story to warn me not to run ahead and try to accomplish things in my way or in my time.  If I try to "help" God, I will just make a mess of the situation.  And, so, I'm trying to wait and believe. 

Please pray that we will sense God's guidance as to what other steps we need to take.  We do hope to do the Both Hands fundraiser soon.  http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bothHands.html


We have had a wonderful weekend.  We were blessed to spend Friday night in Cincinnati and spend Saturday at Coney Island.  (Someone paid all our expenses.  It was a special time for our family -- a mini-vacation.)  It was extra special that we were able to spend time with Brad's mom & stepdad.  We made great memories and of course we took lots of pictures.  I hope to upload some soon but can't with dial-up.

Have a blessed sabbath - REST in HIM!!!

Katelyn's Fund Grant

Last week we were interviewed by phone by the board of Katelyn's Fund.  Only four of the board members were able to make it (so they said we had an easy night), but we shared our story and answered their questions.  At the end of interview, they each prayed for us and our adoption journey.  It was wonderful to have them take time to pray over us.  What a privilege and a blessing.  We knew they were interviewing others and would then be praying over applications and we should hear from them in around three weeks.

This week has been a little difficult as we've been waiting to hear about our no-interest loan for which we applied.  We were told the review usually takes 4 to 6 weeks and then we'd be notified by e-mail or phone.  Monday marked 7 weeks since they received our application.  If we are approved, we should be able to tell our agency that we're ready to be matched.  I know I need to remember that I'm waiting on the LORD, not a loan.  I also know that He is using each detail to help bring us the son He wants to be part of our family.  Knowing these things helps, but it doesn't take away the anticipation or the emotions that go with the process.

I was encouraged yesterday by the following passage.  "...waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But, the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along." ~ taken from Romans 8 (The Message)

We received a call today from Sheila at Katelyn's Fund.  She said we've been approved for a full grant - $3000.  Praise the LORD!!!  I was so surprised to hear from them already.  It was such an encouragement in the waiting.  We can't tell our agency that we're ready to be matched yet, but evidently God is not ready for us to be matched.  And, as a framed quote in our first agency said, "Faith in God includes faith in His timing."

So glad we waited on God!

God has been working behind the scenes as we've been waiting on Him.  It has been amazing to sit back and let Him work.  Now I don't mean we've been completely idle.  We felt clear to do our homestudy with Adoption Assistance, Inc so we filled out paperwork and had a homestudy visit.  We've looked at some placing agencies, but just haven't felt clear for one reason or another.  The ones we've leaned toward either wouldn't work with us for some reason (like we already have children or we don't make enough money) or had a very negative evaluation from someone we trust.  So, we've just waited.  We are so glad we did.

As we shared in our last blog, God's Grace Adoption Ministries gave us a matching grant of up to $2500.  Generous friends donated $1129.85 so it will become $2259.70.  PRAISE THE LORD and THANK YOU to the friends who gave!!!  Unfortunately, GGAM cannot tell us who gave.  They will only tell us the total given.  This is frustrating because we cannot thank individuals.  So, if you gave and you're reading this, thank you.  We deeply appreciate your gift!!!  One group that gave was the Pro-Life Ministry from Kentucky Mountain Bible College.  It was so encouraging to be supported by college students (who don't have much money) and to be reminded that God will provide in ways we don't expect.

Sunday I (Marie) was called and asked to participate in a ministry opportunity in October.  I said I'd pray about it and I was to give an answer by Wednesday.  I prayed and talked it over with Brad and planned to call between 4 and 6 to say "Yes!" because I could see no good reason to say "No!"  Brad told me that if God wanted to close the door, He could make it clear.  Well, at 4 o'clock the phone rang. It was a lady from an adoption agency that wouldn't typically work with us because we don't make enough money.  They have a required gross income that we don't meet and then they want you to make $10,000 more per child.  I had e-mailed the agency briefly explaining our situation and asked if they made any exceptions.  Instead of simply replying to my e-mail, she called.  We talked for quite some time and she said that Adoption Assistance does such a good job with home studies that if they approve us, she doesn't care how much we make.  WOW!!  The agency also had been refusing to work with most families who can have biological children, but she told me they changed that policy this week.  God is into details!!!!  It sounds very hopeful that we may have a baby much sooner than we were expecting.  Brad & I felt that the possibility of having a baby by the time of the ministry opportunity and the fact that I received the call at 4 PM (the time I had planned to call to accept the opportunity) was God's way of closing the door and I called to say, "No!"

That night we began filling our paperwork for Graceful Adoptions.  We still have some more to do, but it's not too much considering what we've filled out previously.  Much of it is similar to what we've done before, so it's not difficult, it just takes time to put it in the format this agency wants.  It will cost over $20,000 to work with this agency and we will still have some other expenses.  We cannot use the two grants we've been given until we are almost finished with the adoption process.  (This is to guarantee the grants given support adoptions that are completed.)  We know that God is leading and as someone said, "Where God guides, He provides."

I continue to be encouraged by the quote from George Müller, "The greatness of the sum required affords me a kind of secret joy; for the greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen to the glory of God how much can be done by prayer and faith."

Matching Gift at God’s Grace Adoption Ministry

We are so excited about the way God is providing for our adoption. When God first led us to adopt, one of our biggest questions was how we would pay for it. But we realized that if God truly wanted us to adopt, He would make it possible. I'm reading George Müller - Guardian of Bristol's Orphans by Janet & Geoff Benge. As George said, if our dream is God's idea, as long as we do all we can, it is "ultimately God's responsibility to make the dream a reality."


God’s Grace Adoption Ministry, Inc. has committed to match any donations made toward our adoption “dollar for dollar” up to $2500. Would you please pray that God would lay it upon many hearts to join us in our adoption journey? If you’re interested in giving to our adoption and having your donation matched, please send your gift to

William & Rebecca Angus Adoption

c/o God’s Grace Adoption Ministry, Inc.

P.O. Box 4

Modesto, CA 95353

IMPORTANT: Please enclose a note that says this gift is for William and Rebecca Angus Adoption. (Yes, we’re confusing people – we both go by our middle names! )

To be eligible for the matching grant, these funds need to be received by GGAM by May 15, 2010.

If you want more information, please feel free to contact us with questions at marieangus@hughes.net or to check out their website at www.ggam.org or e-mail them at info@ggam.org.

Donations are confidential, tax deductible (as allowed by law), and are paid directly towards adoption expenses after placement of the child.

Thank you for your prayers!!

Brad & Marie

"The greatness of the sum required affords me a kind of secret joy; for the greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen to the glory of God how much can be done by prayer and faith." ~ George Müller

Moving New Direction

Today we went to Bluegrass Christian Adoption Services to pick up our file.  We had a wonderful time meeting with Mary and talking about our future.

We praise the Lord for His faithful guidance.  Through our meeting, He confirmed the direction we believe we are to move.  We were already leaning toward transferring our case to Adoption Assistance, Inc in Danville, KY but didn't feel clear on it.  Mary told us she feels very strongly that we should go with them and that she already talked to the director about us.

We plan to begin working with them ASAP.  With this agency we can adopt domestically or internationally.  We are open to however God leads us and as we've said all along, if He totally closes the door on adoption, we are fine with that.

Apparent Uncertainty

 Can You Bear Uncertainty?

Wow! A friend posted a link to this on Facebook and I clicked on it since "uncertainty" describes our adoption situation almost perfectly right now.

It's a blog by Jon Bloom on April 5, 2010.  There's a whole lot more to it than I'm quoting, but in case you're short on time, here's the part that really struck me!

"When an adoring fan announced his desire to follow him anywhere, Jesus deglamorized things a bit by replying, “Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Luke 9:58).

God doesn’t tell us how that person responded because what’s important is the implied question: can you bear uncertainty? Can you bear not knowing how God is going to provide for your most urgent needs and still trust that he will?

It is a question that Jesus wants all of his disciples to wrestle with. There are simply going to be times when we don’t know where the provision is going to come from. Circumstances will look precarious, sometimes foreboding and threatening. Plans are going to fall through. People are going to disappoint us. They may reject or misunderstand our mission. If these things happened to Jesus, we should not be surprised when they happen to us.

Jesus does not want us to be governed by fear at such times. He wants us governed by faith. The reason is that the uncertainty is only apparent uncertainty. Our future and our provision and our ultimate triumph are certain to God. He has all the foreknowledge, power, resources, and desire to turn everything for good for those who love him and are called by him (Romans 8:28).

Apparently uncertain seasons are usually the most powerful God moments we experience. They often put God on display more than other seasons, demonstrating that God exists and rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

So if you are in one of those seasons, take heart. You are likely experiencing what it means to have a God 'who acts for those who wait for him' (Isaiah 64:4).

*If you want to read the entire blog by Jon Bloom, click here Can You Bear Uncertainty?

Labor pains?!?

I read an interesting article tonight.  It's titled "Hurry Up and Wait..."  I'll put the link at the bottom of this post in case anyone wants to read it, but here are a couple quotes that really stuck out to me.

Referring to the waiting time adoptive parents experience, Rebecca Robinson says, "I often describe it as the adoptive parents' time of labor.  You are expectant parents with no idea of when to expect your child.  It can be an emotional, painful, exciting, frightening, joyful time.  One thing it's not... is predictable."

"Rarely does adoption occur in a neat, organized, time-oriented, totally predictable manner.  It is a time when we have little or no control over much of what occurs and it is enough to make some of us want to yell, 'An epidural, please!'"

Wow!  What a great explanation!  I was hoping we'd be the exception and our adoption would happen quickly.  I like neat, organized, and predictable!  It was a nice dream, but not reality. :)
It's been 13 months since we felt God leading us to adopt.  We applied to BCAS in March 2009 and began our waiting then as the lady who works with adoptive families was too busy to get back to us.  We finally heard from her in May and her in July.  Then we began the hours of paperwork, meetings, fingerprinting, reading, etc... 

If we were pregnant, we'd be packing our bags for the hospital trip and waiting for the first signs of labor.  Instead, we've learned that our agency is closing and God has other plans for us.  We don't know what they entail, but we KNOW that they include hope and a future, not just for us, but for the son He will bring us.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

After two successful pregnancies, I must say that in many ways, this is much more difficult.  Of course, I have to remember that I have 3 beautiful girls from those pregnancies and they have erased many of the memories of the difficulties.  For now I'll claim what the article says, "Remember that your child will come to you.  ... You will soon be parents and your wait will be over.  I believe that just as the pain of physical labor is forgotten with the sight of your child, your 'labor pains' will also fade to memory when you hold your little one."


http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_adoptive_families/hurry.html

God Is Guiding

I missed Bible study last week because Brad and I were on a date.  :) 

I was finally able to listen to the lesson this afternoon (Esther Session 6 by Beth Moore).  Wow!  It fit our situation so well.  Beth referred back to a story she shared in session 3 about their bird dog.  Sometimes the dog will see a squirrel and go to full point.  Beth's husband has to literally pick the dog up (it's still in full point) and turn her a different direction so they can continue on their walk.  Beth shared that God often uses a crisis in our lives to change our direction.  That night (session 3) my mind went to our miscarriage and how God used it to lead us to adoption, a totally different path than we had planned.

Today as Beth reminded us of the dog story and shared that "God appoints or allows circumstances (often crises) in our lives to redirect our paths" my mind went to the closing of the agency through whom we wanted to adopt.  I feel a lot like Beth's dog - I was at full point (completely at peace with adoptiong through BCAS) but God has picked us up and turned us a different direction.  I just feel like He hasn't put us down yet.  We do NOT know the direction He wants us to go.  The funny thing is, that's okay.  We are at peace knowing God knows what He is doing!  We trust His plan!  (Little by little the control-freak in me is learning to let go and let God direct my steps ONE AT A TIME!!  I'm learning to rest in Him and let Him be the One in control.)

Please continue to pray for us as we seek God's direction!  We want His will -- whatever that means!  We plan to explore some adoption options because we believe God has led us to adopt.  We are not pounding on lots of doors, but are trying to be sensitive to how God wants us to proceed.  If He totally closes the adoption door, we are okay with that too.  We are blessed to know that God is in control and He is not at all confused with our situation.  We trust that He will reveal His plan in His time and in His way.

We have had a truly exciting answer to prayer this week!  Brad found a used van for us.  It's a 2005 Town & Country.  It was everything we wanted and we were able to pay cash for it!  God is so good!!!
To God alone be the glory!!!

Where’s The Picture?

The girls and I have been doing puzzles lately. We all enjoy them. Nicole is especially good at taking a puzzle piece, looking at a picture and figuring out where the piece belongs. A single piece can look rather bland or even ugly, but when it’s connected to the other pieces it helps make a beautiful picture. Sometimes, looking at a single piece, I wonder if it even belongs to the puzzle I’m working on. Often that’s how I feel about life.


Wednesday we received word that our adoption agency is closing. This news came as a total shock to me. We were so comfortable and at peace with this agency. We are aware that there are many agencies and organizations that help with adoptions, but we really didn’t feel we should “knock” on any other doors. We decided to simply apply with this agency and allow God to lead. When this news came, it caught me totally off-guard. What in the world is going on? How can we be following God’s leading to the best of our ability, be at peace with it and have a door shut in our face?

I realize that I am not supposed to understand how God works or why He works as He does, but that isn’t always comfortable. I know that God can take things that make no sense to me and make beauty from my ashes, but I must confess that hurts.

Our hope and our prayer in all of this, has been that God will be glorified. This has been a strange experience for me. It vaguely reminds me of the night of our miscarriage. No, it’s not nearly as intense as our miscarriage, because we weren’t yet matched to a child. We were still waiting and hoping – honestly I was beginning to wonder if we would ever be chosen. If we had been matched with a child, it would have been much more painful. The part that reminds me of that night, though, is that sadness with a sense of peace! I have the assurance that none of this caught God by surprise. I’m reminded that nothing gets to God’s children without going through Him first. I know our God is in control. So, I’ve cried. I’ve questioned. I’ve wondered where we go from here. I can’t see the picture. I have no clue where this puzzle piece fits. But I know our God sees the big picture and in His time, in His way, he will take this piece – that feels so random to me now – and fit it perfectly into His big picture.

God's Confirmation

We serve an amazing God.  He speaks in so many ways.  I love it when He reinforces lessons I'm learning in multiple ways.  Our lesson at Bible study confirmed what He's teaching me about waiting and being content in where He has me right now.  It also gave me a wonderful way to view it!  First I want to share some of what God's been teaching me lately.

I've been listening to some of John Piper's sermons.  (As a side note, you can download his sermons for free at http://www.desiringgod.org/.  I'm not saying I totally endorese everything he says.  There are tons of sermons there.  But the ones I've listened to so far have greatly challenged me - especially his sermons on unbelief and the sermon titled "Are You Humble Enough to Be Care-Free?" based on I Peter 5:5-7).

I've listened to Piper's sermon "Battling the Unbelief of Impatience" several times.   In it he says, "The opposite of impatience is not a glib, superficial denial of frustration. The opposite of impatience is a deepening, ripening, peaceful willingness either to wait for God where you are in the place of obedience, or to persevere at the pace He allows on the road of obedience—to wait in His place, or to go at His pace. "
Right now, we are waiting in the place where He has us and we are very content.  That has to be God, because I'm not by nature a patient person, but He is working in me.  PTL!!!

Here were the main points of our Bible study lesson and (how it applies to us specifically): 
Taken from Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore Session 5

It's important to know...
1.  When it's time.
2.  When it's time to wait.  (Obviously it's time for us to wait in the adoption process.)
3.  When it's time to wait for someone else's time.  (We can't adopt until the time is right for the birthparents.)
4.  When the meantime is God-time. 
          Never in our wait is God inactive.  Something is up.  Something is happening in the heavenlies.

We lose our strength when we wait upon the event, the thing, the person, the baby, ... 
As Isaiah 40:31a says, "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength."  I'm NOT to be waiting for the time I get to adopt a baby boy.  I am to WAIT UPON THE LORD and He promised to renew my strength.

Blessed Beyond Measure

We haven't updated the blog lately because there isn't much to say about the adoption process.  We're in the WAIT and PRAY (repeat, repeat, ...) stage.

We have applied to Show Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization) and God's Grace Adoption Ministry for financial aid.  We are waiting to hear from both organizations and praying for God to provide in His way and in His time.  We also tried to contact the Boatner Foundation, but don't have current contact information.

In the mean time we are rejoicing in where God has us and how He has blessed us.  God has been so good to us.  We know that even if we never have the privilege of rearing a son, we have been blessed beyond what we could have imagined.  Our daughters are at such fun ages.  God has supplied all our needs and has given us many of our wants.  I never dreamed life here on earth could be this good.  Is it perfect?  No, of course not!!!  But God is good and we can't praise Him enough for working in our lives and allowing us to serve Him.  Thank You, Lord!!

Starting the process

As I said before, I didn't tell Brad what I felt God might lead us to do.  I didn't know if God was really asking us to adopt or not.

Fast forward to February!  God began to speak to Brad.  He had several things happen in such a supernatural way that he couldn't ignore them.  He prayed and prayed.  Finally he looked at me and said something like, "I don't know if this is the right time to say this" (it was late at night) "but I think God might be leading us to adopt."  I pulled out my journal and showed him my post from November 26th.  We were both amazed at God's guidance.

We decided to follow where He leads.  We called a friend who adopted around 20 years ago to find out what agency they used.  When he said they'd used Bluegrass Christian, we contacted the agency to get information.  We met with Kati (the counselor for birthmoms) and got basic information from her.  We connected well with Kati.  She spent time with us and asked us our story of what brought us to consider adoption.  We were very impressed with the ministry this agency has with expecting mothers.  We filled out the basic application and sent it in in early March.

Because Mary (the lady who works with adoptive parents) had several things going on in her family, she wasn't able to get in touch with us until late June.  We began to wonder what we should do.  Thankfully, we prayed and waited.  We met with her in early July and received the assignments to do and the paperwork we needed to fill out.  She said one of the most important things for us to do was to write our birthparent letter.  (This is a letter to expecting mothers that shares about us, our family, our community, etc.  The mother then picks what family she would like to adopt her child.)  Mary said everything else can be rushed if necessary, but we can't be picked unless we have that letter in.

We sent our birthparent letter in early August.  We're working on paperwork and making progress.  Brad hasn't had time to do much of his part because of his work, but if we get chosen, he can do it pretty quickly.  We will do our homestudy after our paperwork is in.  After the homestudy is complete, we'll begin applying for scholarships, etc.

We'd appreciate your prayers as we follow God's leading.  We would love to raise a son, but more than anything we want to bring glory to God.

For His Glory

For anyone who may be reading this blog, I promise, I won't always be talking about the past.  I will focus on the adoption, but this is how it started.  This is part of our journey.  Trust me, I'm leaving a lot out.  I don't want to be melodramatic, but it's not realistic (or even fair to others who have lost a baby) for me to act like I had a miscarriage and then God led us to adoption and everything is just peachy!

Life is tough at times, but God is good all the time!  We live in a fallen world, but we serve a risen Savior.  This week is filled with memories for me.  As I approach our son's birth and death day, I am allowing myself to grieve.  It hurts, but I know that God is working all things together for good.  (Romans 8:28)  I do not grieve as one who has no hope.  (I Thessalonians 4:13)  I know I will hold our firstborn son one day.

The day that I went into labor, I had studied Psalm 125 with the help of Beth Moore's Stepping Up: a journey through the Psalms of Ascent.  Here's a quote that stuck out to me, "Like the mountains surrounding Jerusalem, God is ever surrounding us.  He sees and sifts every life experience that could touch His child.  Nothing can break His grip."  As I went through the whole experience, that thought from Psalm 125:2 stuck with me.  I knew this couldn't have gotten to me without going through God first.

I was amazed at how God's Word and His people ministered to me and my family during our dark days.

After our miscarriage, it seemed verses about having sons kept coming up in my devotions.  I wasn't searching for those verses - they were in the studies I was doing.  I felt God was promising us a son, but I felt challenged in my reasons for wanting a son.  Did I really want a son for God's glory, or was it mainly to pass on my husband's name and family line?  I do NOT believe God was punishing me or that there's anything wrong with wanting to pass on my husband's name.  I do believe my ultimate goal for everything in my life should be God's glory!

Here's part of my journal from November 26th, 2008.
Tonight my mom talked about some KMBC students picketing an abortion clinic. She said there were like 18 girls that went in between around 6:00 and 9:00 AM. I said I couldn’t have done it. I said I would have been begging the girls to let me raise their baby.  Later it began to sink in that God may give us a son through adoption. That could be surrendering our family line and yet rearing a son for God’s glory.
“It’s all about You, Jesus. It’s all about You, for Your glory and Your fame. It’s not about me, as if You should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender to Your way.”

I did NOT tell Brad about this journal entry that night.  In fact, I didn't tell him for several months, but I'll save that for another post.